How do you make life decisions?

Today I was going to meet my friend after 3 long years and I was super excited. As I sat in the cab I was enjoying some old songs the cabbie was playing and felt very nostalgic. My next thought was how my life turned out from what I had imagined it would be like. Not that I am complaining! I am grateful for where I am today in my life, but was this what I had wanted all through? Hmm…. Our lives change every minute and so does our dream. Yes, my life and dreams have changed but not my values and I was surprised to find out that our values hardly change unless we have faced something life altering.

So why is it, that many of us feel we haven’t fulfilled our dreams or our life has not taken the shape we would have wished it to? Here’s my take on it, I think we have always externalized our dreams. It’s not built on our values or our deepest desires. It is usually around what the world or society has glorified. If the community values super cars, mansions, leadership position in a Forbes 100 company then that’s what we want. Why do we want that? We crave recognition from those around us. We all like power, and want to be an influencer, we want people to look up to us. So now, if we can make these decisions on what we value and what is it that brings us joy what will this mean to you?

This is very easily said than done. How do we know what really makes us happy? We have been trained to think in a particular way of living and our decisions and happiness are all weighed based on these learnings so how do we know our dreams before it is too late. Here is what I think we need to do. We have to explore, we need to try out different things and, in this process, we identify that which truly makes our ‘heart sing’. This is what our dreams need to be shaped on and not on societal norms.

Next time you feel frustrated with the way your life is taking give your values a thought and assess if they align and you will have your answers. All the best.